After the loss of loved one, it is very natural to feel a vast range of emotions. It is important to know that in most situations the grief you feel is real and normal. Although many people tell us, “I must be the only person who has ever felt this way,” we are able explain that what they are feeling is not rare, but very normal. Every person’s grief is unique in its own way, and we believe that it is important to build network groups of other individuals going through similar grief.
In 1969 Elisabeth Kubler Ross gave us the Five Stages of Grief. In most circumstances every individual who experiences a loss of somesort will go throughthe Five Stages of Grief Cycle.
- Denial — “I feel fine.”; “This can’t be happening, not to me.” Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
- Anger — “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; ‘”Who is to blame?” Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
- Bargaining — “I’ll do anything for a few more years.”; “I will give my life savings if…” The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, “I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time…”
- Depression — “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die soon so what’s the point… What’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?” During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
- Acceptance — “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.” In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event.
If you or a loved one is struggling with grief, please let us know so we may provide assistance. We are a partner with you to help ease your grief and frustration. We have plans in place to help through support groups, counseling or possibly we have some literature that will be of help. Whatever your concerns, we are here to help!