Sunday, June 30, 2019
Dear Aunt Christi,
I wish I knew what was going on through your head when you decided to take your own life. Your eyes had the same friendly shine. You looked fine. (Like those with depression usually do). People said you would have to had wanted to change, you probably did want to change but didn’t know how, or started to feel bad for all the things that have gone on over the passed year. Your depression probably numbed your hope. Watching how hard your daughter, your sister, your mother and father have taken your death was probably the hardest thing of all. They say we’ll never know what truly happened that day. What lead you to that breaking point. But I have a pretty good idea on why. Depression. It changes people. It makes you think thoughts you don’t want to and lose any sort of happiness for life that you tried clinging to. I know because I’ve lived it. Our late night conversations on helping me cope making sure I was ok and other way around really infuriates me now. You promised me things that you have now broken. Now you rest and we’re all crushed. I’m sure the hurt this would bring to your family occurred to you, but you couldn’t force yourself to carry on one more minute on this earth. That was the depression talking, spewing its rubbish all over you. I just wish I had 5 more minutes. 5 more minutes I wish I could have used to change your mind. We all love you. We forever will. Fly high beautiful Angel. Xoxo
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